Promises
I forgot to publish an edition of Field Notes & Reflections last week. I did not forget entirely. I awoke in the wee hours of the morning, fourteen hours after my customary time to publish, and realized I had missed my self-imposed deadline. I remain mystified as to why I overlooked a task I have performed nearly every week for the last three and one-half years.
There are several responses, not all of which are mutually exclusive, from which I can choose in such a circumstance:
I can hope that no one noticed;
I can offer to make amends;
I can blame someone or something else;
I can make excuses;
I can apologize.
Here is the response I selected: I can reflect on the significance of keeping promises. By publishing essays each week and inviting subscriptions, I have implied that I will do so in the future. Beyond this implied promise, I believe I have written a clear statement at least once in the past advertising my intent to write a new article each week. In short, I have made a promise.
Promises are one of five primary speech acts. The others are declarations, assertions, assessments, and requests.
My attention was first drawn to the importance of requests and promises in business communication when I read an article decades ago about the philosophy and work of Fernando Flores. This article open my eyes the essential nature of specific forms of everyday communication. What I say has meaning beyond the literal understanding of the words I use. A promise is a commitment to a person or persons to do something. Fulfilling the commitment that the promise embodies builds trust.
The quote "An honest man's word is as good as his bond," attributed to Miguel de Cervantes, captures the importance of making promises. To say that one's word is one's bond is to liken the promise to a signed contract, at least with those whom we judge trustworthy.
We find this notion at the heart of some particular types of promises. Wedding vows, oaths of office, affirmations before testifying in court, and signed affidavits exemplify the commitment that is to be fulfilled after having made specific statements. Failure to adhere to the commitment has consequences that include as loss of trust or standing and, in some instances, legal penalties.
Informal promises -- those not evidenced by witnesses or signatures -- are no less important. I would argue that they are more important because they occur so frequently. Promises that are commonplace should be taken as seriously as those that are not. Other decisions hinge on the commitment to perform some act. For that reason, the one who promises, except in unusual circumstances, must recognize the obligation to do what one says. Imagine how quickly social order would break down if uncertainty were to accompany every promise.
Those who lead organizations should take their promises seriously. Subordinates count on executives to do what they say they will do. Those whose actions reflect an unserious attitude toward commitments they make are unlikely to inspire confidence. It will be said of them that they cannot be relied upon, that they will change their minds with a shift in the direction the wind is blowing, or that a decision is subject to alteration depending on who spoke to the executives last.
This is not to suggest that one can never determine that a promise, once made, should not be fulfilled. There will be instances in which circumstances warrant retreating from a promise. When that happens, however, it is important to explain why this occurs. To do so demonstrates that promise-keeping is a virtue that guides the executive's behavior and that most future promises will be kept, but that sometimes events or new information warrant revisions to the commitment made earlier.
It is essential to recognize that few of the interactions that involve making requests and promises are one-offs. Most of the interactions we have with others are part of a series that can continue over years and decades. A request yields a promise that in turn might yield a further request and a further promise. Keeping promises solidifies the relationship between the parties. Doing so establishes a foundation on which to build in the future.
There are those who prefer to keep others guessing, who view the creation of uncertainty as a source of power and influence. This might be the case in the short term, but such an approach is unlikely to foster long-standing relationships. Making promises with no intention of keeping them breaks an implied rule that commitments must be honored. It is no way to win friends.
Many years ago, I had a friend who loaned me a small amount of money. "Fast payment makes fast friends," he said when I repaid him a day or two later. The same rationale, that keeping a commitment strengthens relationships, should be seen as underlying every promise.
Here I am, then, a week late in publishing an essay. I failed to keep a promise I have made. Reflecting on it only highlights the harm done, no matter how unintentional the failure. For that reason, it is necessary for me to apologize. Only this declaration is sufficient to begin to undo any harm my inattention caused.